This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
