i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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