no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
