I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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