Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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