Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
