She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
