We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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