i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
