i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
