dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
