Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
