Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
