Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
