remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
