ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
