So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
