I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.