My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?