I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood