I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf