I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
