She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
