I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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