it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So much Jack, so little girl.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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