eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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