Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
