found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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