I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
