The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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