Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
