It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
