i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you inspire me to be a worse person
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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