You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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