My first STD was from a foam party
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize