turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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