Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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