Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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