i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
