if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
