I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
