Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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