Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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