The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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