That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
