I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
