i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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