yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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