the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
