i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
