I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
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