Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Will you blow on my dice?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
