And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
