im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
