do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
