I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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