he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
