I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
