I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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