Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
