**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
