she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
