You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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