he puts the penis in happiness.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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