You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
