Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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